Yes, that’s zero stars you see up there. Every time Michael Bay directs another Transformers abomination (this is the fifth), the movies die a little. Mark Wahlberg has announced that The Last Knight will be his farewell to the Bay franchise. Quoth the actor: “I get my life back.” Ha! Now Wahlberg knows how sentient film critics feel every time they exit another Bay travesty. Transformers: The Last Knight is all kinds of awful. It’s also the worst of the series to date, which is saying something. The year is only half over, but even Pirates 5, Fifty Shades Darker, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword and The Mummy can’t rob Transformers 5 of the title as 2017’s most toxic film byproduct. Speaking of King Arthur, did you know that the battle between Autobots and Decepticons started not at the Hasbro toy store, but back with the knights of the round table?!? Well, Anthony Hopkins sure does. The Oscar winner has been paycheck-persuaded to take on the … [Read more...] about ‘Transformers: The Last Knight’ Review: Michael Bay’s Latest Is 2017’s Most Toxic Movie
Giant Pictures has secured U.S. distribution rights to the Bruno de Almeida-helmed drama Cabaret Maxime, starring Michael Imperioli, best known for his Emmy-winning role as Christopher Moltisanti on HBO’s The Sopranos. Cabaret Maxime is slated to open at the Metrograph in New York City on February 21 before its theatrical wide release March 3. The film marks the third collaboration between Imperioli and de Almeida. The plot follows Bennie Gazza (Imperioli), the owner of Cabaret Maxime, a nightclub in an old, red-light district where a group of colorful characters perform musical numbers, burlesque and striptease acts. Bennie runs the cabaret like a tight family, dealing with each artist’s unique personality while taking care of his performer wife, Stella, who suffers from manic depression. When the once-decadent neighborhood starts to become gentrified, Bennie struggles to keep his club afloat. As the residents are being bought up and pushed out, Benny is violently … [Read more...] about Michael Imperioli Drama ‘Cabaret Maxime’ Lands At Giant Pictures For U.S. Distribution
In the old days, i.e. 2017, you had to go to your local multiplex to see a Michael Bay blockbuster. You know the type of movie we’re talking about: explosions, robots, shots which last 0.003 seconds, chiseled dudes, smokin’-hot babes. (Not “men” and “women.” There are no such things as men and women in a Michael Bay movie. Only chiseled dudes and smokin’-hot babes.) Because it is currently 2019, however, we — by which we mean cinephiles to cultural pundits to guys wearing backwards baseball caps to your mom — can log onto Netflix on a Friday and voila, there’s a brand new movie from the Transformers/Bad Boys director on the streaming service, ready to entertain you, or at the very least, help you kill brain cells and a little over two hours. You do not even need to leave your couch. What a time to be alive. Somewhere in an abandoned, heavily set-dressed airfield in the California desert, there is a sextet of … [Read more...] about ‘6 Underground’: Movie Stars, Action, Guns, Booms, T&A, Michael Bay
Not too far from Beverly Hills, in a bedroom that’s all white and filled with glass and sunshine, Michael Bay opens his eyes and thinks, “Why the fuck am I up so early? Yeah. Why should I get up?” For a moment, he is insensate. Nonetheless, he slips a robe on over his Tommy Hilfiger boxers, takes a leak, ties his feet into a pair of K-Swiss tennis shoes, greets his two giant mastiff dogs, makes himself a cappuccino, reads the morning paper and spends a while playing a snowboarding game on his PlayStation 2. As a kid, Bay variously thought he might grow up to become a professional baseball player, a magician, a car-wash magnate, a photographer, a veterinarian, a Buddy Rich-style drummer or a movie director. His grandfather, however, thought he should join him in his laundry business, stonewashing jeans for a living. As it turns out, Bay, 37, has made three movies – Bad Boys, The Rock and Armageddon – that have in total grossed more than $1 billion. … [Read more...] about Inside the Blockbuster Life of Michael Bay: The Most Loved and Loathed Man in Hollywood
When Michael Bay wants to screen a cut of his movie, he calls Anthony. Anthony flies from L.A. to wherever Bay is with a pair of digitally encrypted hard drives – one primary, one backup – that will allow Bay’s movie to be projected in a certain theater at a certain time before, basically, self-destructing. “He does this for Steven and me,” Bay says, meaning Spielberg. Tonight, the theater is in a South Beach multiplex that Bay has arranged for the occasion, where he’s sitting in the third row of a totally empty theater, Nikes propped on the seat in front of him. “We don’t do anything small,” he says. Michael Bay, small? That’s like telling the sun not to shine, the grass not to grow, the 10-megaton nuclear device not to explode. From Armageddon to Pearl Harbor to his $3 billion Transformers franchise, Bay has spent his 20-year career going bigger, louder, more explode-y. Together, his 11 … [Read more...] about ’13 Hours’: Can Michael Bay Pull Off a Gritty Movie About Benghazi?