If you have a daughter with an eating disorder, you need to talk to someone you can trust. Your little girl is ill and you are frightened. So I want you to imagine you are having a cup of coffee with your most trusted friend. She’s sitting across your kitchen table and you’re having a heart to heart talk.
You tell her about your daughter’s doctor appointment yesterday, and tearfully recount the moment you were told she has anorexia. You had had your suspicions but to have them confirmed terrifies you. All the horror stories you’ve ever heard about anorexia have already flashed through your mind and you are on the verge of panic. What might that best, most trusted friend say to you?
You are not a bad mother and this is not your fault. At the moment those feel like empty words, but your friend is right. She might also tell you that your daughter needs you to be strong right now and focused on helping her get well, not on your feelings of guilt and failure. She would be right about that too.
Suppose this friend had some experience with eating disorders. She would tell you one of the most important things you can do to help your daughter is to have the right frame of mind. You need to be firm regarding her eating disorder behavior; not angry or provocative, firm. For example, when she doesn’t want to eat, you state the expectations clearly and firmly and you expect them to be followed.
In these moments it doesn’t matter how you feel, it matters what you say and do. Your little girl needs to know there are some things in this recovery process that are non-negotiable. Remember, you are the parent, and she is your sick little girl. When she gets sick in any other way, you do whatever needs to be done, no matter what it takes. An eating disorder is no different.
When you talk to her about what you expect, she needs to hear it in your tone of voice, see it in your eyes and sense it in your body language. It’s like you are a tree whose roots go down so deeply into the ground, the worst storm could not uproot you. She needs to know you will not be swayed by her anger, whining, tears or attempts to negotiate.
There is actually only a small list of non-negotiable items as you first start out. She eats what you dish out and set before her, if she is one who purges then she sits in view of you for an hour after she eats, if she is an over-exerciser she exercises only one-half hour a day, and she attends all necessary appointments including physician, therapist, and nutritionist.
You look at your friend like she is crazy. It may be a small list but you tell your friend those are the very things you aren’t able to get your daughter to do, and if you could do all those things then you wouldn’t need a therapist and nutritionist! She agrees with you and tells you that is why you need help and to get the help you need to save your daughter’s life.
You’re still scared but at least now you know where to start and what it might look like to relate to your daughter. You also know you’re going to have to get a lot tougher in your mind, and for your daughter’s sake you resolve to do whatever it takes to become that immovable tree that cannot be uprooted. You pick up the phone and dial the therapist’s number the pediatrician gave you yesterday.
- Lisa Rinna Says She Didn't Help Pay Daughter Amelia Gray Hamlin's $5,700 Monthly Rent
- How Nancy Redd's Kids' Book Bedtime Bonnet Helped Her Daughter Love Her Hair: 'There's No Shame'
- How 2 Sandy Hook Moms Who Lost Daughters 8 Years Ago Honor Their 'Light, Hope and Legacy'
- Beyoncé Cracks 'Corny Joke' with Help from Daughter Blue Ivy and Mom Tina Knowles-Lawson
- Mom Brags ‘Trans’ Daughter Going Through ‘Early Menopause’ Caused By Hormone Blockers
- Horrified mum begs for help after daughter, five, draws all over her £2k Chanel bag – & the results speak for themselves
- Girl wears First Communion dress made from mom's wedding gown
- Dear Therapist: My Adult Daughter Thinks I Was an Awful Parent
- Dear Therapist: The Child My Daughter Put Up for Adoption Is Now Rejecting Her
- Woman whose wife isn't ready for a baby yet enlists her MOTHER to help her perform artificial insemination on sMothered
- 'To the Bone' and the Trouble With Anorexia on Film
- The Challenge of Treating Anorexia in Adults
- Plus-size model Tess Holliday reveals she's receiving treatment for anorexia
- Sky News' Trevor Phillips lets rip at Tory MP over Hancock scandal after burying daughter
- Body of Water director on crafting powerful anorexia drama from real-life experiences
- Teen Mom Leah Messer reveals how she takes care of her three daughters after beating her addiction to painkillers
- Mom Creates Organization To Help Single And Teen Moms, Feeds Hundreds Of Families During The Pandemic
- Moms, this is how you can bond with your daughters
- Massy Arias on Getting Mom-Shamed for Exercising 4 Weeks Postpartum: It 'Messed with My Head'
- MTV Cuts Ties with Taylor Selfridge, Pulls Teen Mom Special over Past Racially Insensitive Tweets
Anorexia - How a Mom Can Help Her Anorexic Daughter have 884 words, post on ezinearticles.com at July 2, 2009. This is cached page on Movie News. If you want remove this page, please contact us.